Merry CHRISTmas
As I sit here and wonder should I have gone to the Christmas service instead of watching online, I have so many other thoughts running through my head. Now even though Jesus is the reason for the season, I want to experience the joy of watching my kids open the presents they got this year and not fighting traffic for an hour to get home after an hour long service. If anyone who reads my blog knows about First Baptist Church of Glenarden, you know about the congestion in the parking lot. Which is normally why I wait until the crowd dies down. But on a day like this online service will do. Plus, I don't want to risk Jordan waking up before everyone and opening the presents like he did just a few days ago when I tried to wrap some things up early so I wasn't doing everything in one night. Of course I ended up doing everything in one night. Leave it to Jordan to make the simplest task more difficult when I'm trying to do better. Gotta love him though.
The other thing I am thinking about is last Sunday's service. Pastor talked about what we can do to get God to move in a supernatural way in our lives. I've seen God do things in my life that I know only he can do, but it's also things that we could have accomplished on our own if we were in better positions at that time. I do not want to take the glory away from God, but purchasing a house and a vehicle, paying mortgages, and keeping food on the table is something everyone can accomplish if they have God in their lives or not. Something I can't do without God, heal my son. I've tried my hand at that before Him and I was in a revolving door and every time I stepped out, I was where I stepped in. Once I learned to make Christ the center of my life and keep my focus on Him, the proper information I needed was given to me. Things I needed to share with the doctor to help her come up with the best ways of treatment would surface. Test results kept going in the direction they should....consistently, and more progress was being made not only on paper but in front of my eyes as well. OCD subsided even though it returns with chelation, and the ability to focus at school and learn things I didn't think he would be able to even if at a slower pace. I was shown God was the path I needed to be on in this journey.
I've always had the mindset that Jordan would be healed, but if it's not in God's plan then so be it. I will still love my son and accept him as he is. I wouldn't even send him to a group home or facility. My only concern was because he is the most healthy in the family, he would outlive us all and what would become of him the? But no more. We must realize that GOD is capable of everything. And when I say everything, that means EV ER RY THANG! I have to extend the word like that to emphasize it. Everything includes keeping my marriage together. Everything includes leading my children to be saved. Everything includes Autism. Now I believe without a shadow of a doubt that he will be just like all of my other kids one day. Even today's message spoke on something similar. Whatever you believe determines the outcome of everything in your life. The scriptures he referenced on the 20th was Mark 9:14-26. That was huge for me because it is my go to scripture that relates to the young boy that had a mute spirit whom the disciples were arguing about among themselves because they tried to cast out the spirit but could not. Jesus said to them in verse 19 "O faithless generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I bear with you? Bring him to Me." When Jesus saw him he started to seize and He asked the father how long had the child been like that and the father said since birth. Verse 23 says "If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes." In the end the deaf and dumb spirit came out of the boy and he was healed.I feel as if that message was just for me. The night before I prayed for God to give me more of Him. Not to heal my son, not for him to be normal, but for more of God. Having more of Him in my life opens doors to the impossible. God spoke to me telling me my son will be healed if I believe. Lord, I believe!
