Pardon me

Last night and even into the morning I have been irritated. I have been overwhelmed with a lot of things with all the kids lately and Autism is just one that won't go away. I'm not taking it out on Jordan, but his actions are driving me up the wall.

It all started with those #&$(#*& spasms that are still lingering. Yesterday was a pretty bad day as far as how often I saw them. Mind you, Jordan isn't around me that much, but when he is around most of the times I don't see them. Yesterday I did. Quite a bit. And on top of that, his need to touch and rub on the tiny afro that comes out of my ponytail is becoming the most annoying thing he can do. Just to see his arm raise to motion that's what he's getting ready to do is enough to make me want to yell at him. But I don't. I simply have to keep saying to him over and over and over, Jordan stop, Jordan no, or let him go through with it and say thank you for him to stop. It doesn't seem like the Gaba is doing its job anymore. I've increased it from 6 to 7 pills just recently to see if it would stop him, but it hasn't. I don't want to increase it anymore so it looks like I'm stuck with this sensory issue until his next doctor's appointment in December.

Since adding the supplements back into his diet every 3 days or so. I haven't seen much difference in Jordan. I mean I have and I haven't. Aside from the loud stemming he was doing, not much has changed. I had to increase the ALA to 5 pills to keep him focused while at school. So far this seems to be the magic number, but I will find out after I receive word back from the school if they had issues with him today. The gaba, l-theanine don't seem to be doing much for him anymore. I've also added back in the vitamin d and the flora, which don't help with autistic characteristics seen on the outside. I'm also still having a hard time giving him things in a timely manner. *sigh*

Right now I'm just so through with Autism. It is my testimony. It is why I have the wonderful relationship with God that I have. But everyday it seems to weigh on me more than I would like. Chalk it up to the enemy trying to deter me from become a better person due to my Divine Discipleship for Sister class. I have been through a lot spiritually in book 3. So many ways I have been tried and tested to make me lose what I am learning, or just give up all together. But I refuse to give in. I know something better is in store. I received a small victory this morning when Jordan's classroom aid said I could drop him at the door instead of parking and walking him to the door. Or another victory was my husband being the amazing man he is and fixed the issue with our truck. So we didn't have to pay anyone anything and it only cost us a few bucks if that. I am being rewarded in many ways. Just waking up, bills paid, home in tact, healthy kids, wonderful marriage, I could go on and on. It's just a matter of time when I will be able to give the testimony about how God saw us through Autism. There will be a day when I won't need to blog to update you on Jordan's condition. Because he won't have one. Until then, I praise Him in advance. Habakkuk 3:17-18 goes, "Though the fig tree may not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines; though the labor of the olive may fail, and the fields yield no food; though the flock may be cut off from the fold, and there be no herds in the stalls --- Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation." I know my time



is coming.