Trying to weather the storm

Today was a miserable day. I wanted support and ended up feeling worse than when I first started.

Not much has really changed. Actually is seems things are changing, but it's for the worse. To start off I've already been in this funk since the regression. And I know that means that something good is coming. And I pray it's amazing because one thing gets piled on another and more gets put on top of that. So the first thing to add insult to injury was last weekend was supposed to be his last chelation weekend. I ordered the DMSA pills he needed to do that on Tuesday the 3rd and by Friday the 13th they weren't here. When I called the company Thursday they said Friday. So I know the mail wouldn't have been here in time to start it at 3 pm so I would just start at 7 and add one at the end. But Friday's
mail comes....no DMSA. So I call because I know last time I ordered it, t came on a Saturday. Wouldn't you know that it's scheduled to be delivered on Saturday. I understand their shipping policy but man it seems like they make sure it gets to you on the last day no matter when you order. I don't know why when I ordered it 2 days later last time it still got to me the same time when I ordered it earlier this time. Needless to say I skipped doing the chelation last weekend so I will do it this weekend. I'm so thankful I have enough time to get the urine collection done and the results to his DAN doctor in enough time because his next visit isn't until November 3.

So today I receive a call from his school. I did yesterday too and she explained to me the reason why she was having Jordan do his math with a calculator. But today's call was very different. His OCD is carrying over into the school and it is slowing down his progress because when something happens he has to start all over again and do things the way he just did it, even if it was an accident. It's hindering him from moving forward at a normal pace. That was so frustrating because just when I think I have a slight handle on it at home, here is another thing I have to worry about. I thought for sure that the routine at school wasn't affected because he knows what needs to happen there. But the teacher told me it's really bad. So not only do I have to worry about him not learning properly even more than I did before, I have to worry about them having the patience to deal with it.

I call someone, my husband to be exact, to figure out when he's going to be here because at this point I'm trying to fight back tears and don't want to do to much of anything. And yet again, he has no clue what to say. I wasn't calling him to see if he could give me some kind of remedy to the problem. Sometimes just him being home calms me slightly because I know he would take care of the things that mentally I just can't handle. He goes on about changing things at home could be a start to changing things at school. What the? It's called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder for a reason. It's really hard to calm Jordan down after his routine is broken more than ever now and I've tried it. I don't know why I even bothered to call him. All I wanted to know if he would be here in time to take my daughter to driving school or help with dinner or bring home dinner. But instead I got a rant about don't do anything. Don't take her to school, don't do dinner, blah blah blah. Wow. What a support system I have huh? I totally give up on seeking any kind of help from him because he serves no purpose when it comes to that. I hate to get on here and it seem like some sort of a bashing but hey that's what this blog is for, me to vent. I hold nothing back.

I called his DAN doctor to see if she could recommend something to help with these symptoms. She told me to give him a supplement called Gaba which is an amino acid that is classified as a neurotransmitter. It prevents stress related messages from getting to the motor functions of the brain by occupying the receptor sites. It is commonly taken to induce relaxation and as a sleep aid. I have to start off with 1 capsule a day and if it doesn't seem to be taking affect then go to 1 capsule twice a day. I feel good knowing that there is something that could help with this and wish I would have called sooner. It still doesn't change what i'm going through mentally. I just have to pray harder for more patience and strength from the Man upstairs because obviously I'm not going to get it from the man in this house.