I know it's been a long while since I've said anything relevant. But I'm trying this thing called doing things for me, and it's been keeping me pretty busy. A little while ago I was so focused on my spiritual temperament I think it got me depressed. That and the not so consistent ways Jordan behaves. I wasn't completely in a depressed state, but I was not where I wanted to be either. I realized I had to do something to keep from feeling that way too long and most importantly how to keep me from getting there in the first place.
Our last ministry meeting was about caregiver support again. It gave us ideas and suggestions on how to keep from getting burned out. Which was ironic because I think that's exactly what I was feeling weeks prior to the meeting. But two days before the meeting I did one of the things listed, exercise. I started to work out on the Wii by dancing and doing balancing activities. I came up with a schedule that would allow for me to eat 3 times a day, which is totally hard for me, exercise and clean an area of the house so I'm not trying to clean the whole place in one day. On the days that I actually followed the schedule I found I had more energy. On the days where I didn't I laid around and fell asleep. Working out makes me feel good about myself. Not because of what the results may be, but because it keeps me motivated to do more. To be active. Doing what matters starts at home. I can't be productive outside my house if I can't do it within. Just like Jordan for instance. I can't help others who want to treat their children if I don't go through with it myself. It doesn't seem right to take care of others outside in the community when my home priorities aren't in order. Now that I'm working on the inside, I feel that much better about what I can do on the outside. I'm on my way.
After I started my new schedule of exercise and what have you, one day I decided to send a note into Jordan's school. I hadn't heard anything bad or good about his behaviors and I just wanted to inquire about him. That same day I got a not so pleasing note about something he did. I was very upset because at that point I didn't know if it was just that day that he had issues or if it had been ongoing and I was not being informed. It was a Friday so the entire weekend my spirits wanted to be down, but something was holding me up. I realized when you are constantly going your blood is pumping and you don't have time to be drab. Becoming active made a difference in how I reacted, how I thought and didn't let me worry to much about it. I was physically feeling too good to let anything get me down.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 goes "19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's." Taking care of my temple is a way to glorify the Lord and in return, He takes care of me.
My follow up to learning about Jordan's mischief was to research about homeschooling. The whole middle school process was a difficult one for me. And with all the struggles that came along with it, i.e. bus issues, behavior issues, physical issues, I thought maybe it isn't the proper setting for him at this time. However before I went head first, I sent a message to school in his communication notebook asking if this was an isolated incident or has it been happening the whole time. He has definitely been a better child when it comes to the things he does when interacting with my mom so I didn't understand what was going on at school that was so different. What came back to me was he is typically good, but this day something happened. I get he will have his days, everyone does, so I let go of the idea of homeschooling. Before I started to stimulate myself with being more active, this would have eaten at my spirit so much it would have sent me in a downward spiral. And although I love the person I can be at times, being melancholic is not fun. Having something in my life daily that gives me joy and is just for me is so beneficial. I can only look at everything as being positive from here on out. But only time will tell.
On another note I am looking forward to my newest endeavor that I hope will be in place before the year is up. I've mentioned before that I wanted to start a daycare. I've taken some of the necessary steps to begin so it's coming, and real soon I hope. I'm so excited about what God will have in store. So many blessings are being passed down from the leaders to the members of the church. We are able to do great things for the community as a whole and He sees what we are doing and gives back to us one hundred fold. There have been so many great testimonies that the pastor has had people share with us at the services about getting out of debt, being miraculously healed and so on and so forth. I love being a part of the First Baptist Church of Glenarden. And even though my testimony might not be stage worthy for some, it is to me. Just watch and see.
I know it's been a long while since I've said anything relevant. But I'm trying this thing called doing things for me, and it's been keeping me pretty busy. A little while ago I was so focused on my spiritual temperament I think it got me depressed. That and the not so consistent ways Jordan behaves. I wasn't completely in a depressed state, but I was not where I wanted to be either. I realized I had to do something to keep from feeling that way too long and most importantly how to keep me from getting there in the first place.
