Before I get to the reason for the title of this post, let me tell you a couple of things about my Jordan. Saturday while he was sitting with me he was looking at his finger. The tip of it was extremely swollen. I have seen this before in him years ago when he was in speech therapy. I had to take him to Children's hospital to have them open it and get the pus pocket out that was deep in his finger. That was a horrible experience because the doctors that were supposed to be treating him were standing around at times. When I expressed my need to get out of there, nurses came to help us. The only reason why I know the doctors that didn't help me were the ones that was supposed to because they were the ones that came and spoke to me when all was said and done. I did not want to have to go back there. When I fully examined it his finger was very similar to how it looked back then. I poked and poked at his finger but nothing came out. It wasn't until I moved in closer to the cuticle that I saw what looked like a splinter or something. As I tried to remove what it was I thought I saw did it release what was there. I made sure I got all I could get out, doused it with alcohol and neosporin and wrapped it up. I planned on taking him to Patient First Sunday after church instead of going down to Children's to have yet another bad experience.
When I got home and looked at his finger before it was time to go, the swelling had actually gone down. I thought that it couldn't be that bad. So I didn't go to the clinic but instead treated it again. Later on that evening I looked at it after his shower and I saw what looked like a pus pocket that was a little to deep for me to get to. So I decided to take him just because I didn't want it to get any worse. This was the most amazing visit I have ever had at a clinic, doctor's or hospital. We didn't have to use the computer to sign in we just walked right in the office to be checked in. Once all our information was taken and we sat and not even 5 minutes later a nurse came to check his vitals. From there we went into the room where not even 5 minutes after that the doctor came in to check it. He determined that it was healing and didn't need anything surgical done to it, but prescribed an antibiotic to help with the process. He gave us the prescription and we were out of there. I don't think we spent a half hour in there. Talk about being grateful. We went to fill the prescription and headed to Chipotle for dinner. While in there Jordan was very excited once we got up to place our order. I thought he wanted some and because their food is supposed to be organic and free of gluten I almost got him a bowl but decided against it. When we started walking out he reached for the bag to say he wanted some and I told him I would let him try some of me. Once at the house I gave him a little and he came back for more. It's good to see him want so many different foods and not be so picky anymore. It still amazes me.
Now on to the reason for this post. Remember the other day I sent out a rant full of worldly feelings I was having. You witnessed first hand what happens when you don't fully rely on God. When I first found out that the funeral I was supposed to attend was on that Saturday that my graduation was on, I felt it was only right to tell my husband to go even though I wanted him to share my day with me. But the first thing I prayed about was that the funeral be changed to a different day. From there I should have left it up to Him. But because the devil knows my weakness, he fed me with all kinds of non-sense that I believed. I ate and ate until I became full of the lies and the results was the rage you read Wednesday. Thursday morning as I did my morning prayers and caught up with my daily devotionals God spoke to me. He told me I needed to apologize, go to the graduation and tell him to go to the funeral. He also said that no more can be said on the matter at all. So I did as He said and went on with the day. My grandchildren were there with me, had been for a few days, and we were all going to go swimming. While we were at my uncle's house taking a break from the pool to eat I spoke with my husband who told me that the funeral was not on the day of my graduation but was actually Tuesday and nothing was being held Saturday, never was. God tested me on my faith and patience and I failed. I feel bad for making my husband feel the way I did but mostly I feel bad for not showing God I believed Him. Sometimes He puts things in our way to get our attention or to test us. He tested my numerous ways this day. He tested my faith, patience and the ability to deny myself. And I believe the only reason why I was rewarded after failing so miserably is because I was obedient to His voice when He gave me clear instructions that morning. I'm so glad I obeyed this time.
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| I will always have his back |
That Friday on a conference call with the leaders of the ministry read a devotional to us she came across. The scripture was from
Ephesians 5:20 "giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." It explains that rarely does a day go as planned. Life is so full of things beyond our control but what we don't pay attention to is the other side of inconvenience. We tend to think it has no purpose but what it could actually be is God's way of protecting us. or a chance to show God's grace and forgiveness or even the start of something that could be better than what was planned. The last thing it could be is a test. A test to see how we respond to adversity. Whatever the reason may be, it is meant to make us more like Jesus and further the kingdom on earth. As I attended the service today it was clear to me why it was important for my husband to be there. It really opened my eyes to the fact that even though a lot of things I want don't go as planned one day does not relate to other situations. Everything has it's own purpose and one shouldn't be compared to another. Going through this has definitely changed my outlook. I realized I have to take many steps back regardless of what my issue is because my husband is the head, the leader of this house. I never want to fail him like that ever again.
Before I get to the reason for the title of this post, let me tell you a couple of things about my Jordan. Saturday while he was sitting with me he was looking at his finger. The tip of it was extremely swollen. I have seen this before in him years ago when he was in speech therapy. I had to take him to Children's hospital to have them open it and get the pus pocket out that was deep in his finger. That was a horrible experience because the doctors that were supposed to be treating him were standing around at times. When I expressed my need to get out of there, nurses came to help us. The only reason why I know the doctors that didn't help me were the ones that was supposed to because they were the ones that came and spoke to me when all was said and done. I did not want to have to go back there. When I fully examined it his finger was very similar to how it looked back then. I poked and poked at his finger but nothing came out. It wasn't until I moved in closer to the cuticle that I saw what looked like a splinter or something. As I tried to remove what it was I thought I saw did it release what was there. I made sure I got all I could get out, doused it with alcohol and neosporin and wrapped it up. I planned on taking him to Patient First Sunday after church instead of going down to Children's to have yet another bad experience.
When I got home and looked at his finger before it was time to go, the swelling had actually gone down. I thought that it couldn't be that bad. So I didn't go to the clinic but instead treated it again. Later on that evening I looked at it after his shower and I saw what looked like a pus pocket that was a little to deep for me to get to. So I decided to take him just because I didn't want it to get any worse. This was the most amazing visit I have ever had at a clinic, doctor's or hospital. We didn't have to use the computer to sign in we just walked right in the office to be checked in. Once all our information was taken and we sat and not even 5 minutes later a nurse came to check his vitals. From there we went into the room where not even 5 minutes after that the doctor came in to check it. He determined that it was healing and didn't need anything surgical done to it, but prescribed an antibiotic to help with the process. He gave us the prescription and we were out of there. I don't think we spent a half hour in there. Talk about being grateful. We went to fill the prescription and headed to Chipotle for dinner. While in there Jordan was very excited once we got up to place our order. I thought he wanted some and because their food is supposed to be organic and free of gluten I almost got him a bowl but decided against it. When we started walking out he reached for the bag to say he wanted some and I told him I would let him try some of me. Once at the house I gave him a little and he came back for more. It's good to see him want so many different foods and not be so picky anymore. It still amazes me.
Now on to the reason for this post. Remember the other day I sent out a rant full of worldly feelings I was having. You witnessed first hand what happens when you don't fully rely on God. When I first found out that the funeral I was supposed to attend was on that Saturday that my graduation was on, I felt it was only right to tell my husband to go even though I wanted him to share my day with me. But the first thing I prayed about was that the funeral be changed to a different day. From there I should have left it up to Him. But because the devil knows my weakness, he fed me with all kinds of non-sense that I believed. I ate and ate until I became full of the lies and the results was the rage you read Wednesday. Thursday morning as I did my morning prayers and caught up with my daily devotionals God spoke to me. He told me I needed to apologize, go to the graduation and tell him to go to the funeral. He also said that no more can be said on the matter at all. So I did as He said and went on with the day. My grandchildren were there with me, had been for a few days, and we were all going to go swimming. While we were at my uncle's house taking a break from the pool to eat I spoke with my husband who told me that the funeral was not on the day of my graduation but was actually Tuesday and nothing was being held Saturday, never was. God tested me on my faith and patience and I failed. I feel bad for making my husband feel the way I did but mostly I feel bad for not showing God I believed Him. Sometimes He puts things in our way to get our attention or to test us. He tested my numerous ways this day. He tested my faith, patience and the ability to deny myself. And I believe the only reason why I was rewarded after failing so miserably is because I was obedient to His voice when He gave me clear instructions that morning. I'm so glad I obeyed this time.
