In tears

This morning I am a little emotional. However, it is not the reason you may think.

Jordan is 4 weeks and 1-day post-detox. Many of the morning routines I continued with after I no longer do. Actually, all of them. I plan to do the enemas and Epsom salt soaks once a week but cut back because it made him go to the bathroom more while at school. So just to see what would happen, I did not do them for a couple of days. What I noticed about Jordan was the stimming and tics decreased a lot. He still does, but they are quiet and not as forceful as before, only on rare occasions.

He had a spell in his room yesterday evening, and I thought it was about time that I slid an enema in. Today marks one week since I have given him one. But as soon as he went to the bathroom, everything subsided. Part of me wonders if giving him too many enemas and detoxing so much was making him get rid of everything, including the things he needed. So I won't go back to doing them every day, but I definitely don't want to stop and go back to the way things were before.

But that is not why I am in tears, although his tics and stimming are significantly improving is enough. But there is another reason why water actually fell from my eyes today.

This morning I went in Jordan's bookbag for his lunchbox. A cut-out of the Grinch was colored and glued to some construction paper inside. I looked at this colored figure for some time. It was so neatly colored and filled in that it almost looked like a printed picture. But I could see where some color was outside the lines of where it should be. 

You see, even before the detox, Jordan stopped coloring at home. I am not sure why he does not want to color anymore. Maybe he is getting too big to do it or just tired of it. Either way, I have not seen him color anything in almost a year. For Christmas last year, I bought him a Super Mario coloring book that he has not touched, so maybe even longer. 

The improvement in his coloring is astronomical. When Jordan used to color, he would color so hard in the same spot that crayon would cake up and get everywhere. And while he knew he should stop at the lines, he was not concerned about doing so, and there would be a lot of coloring outside the margins. But this, this was beautifully done. I texted his teacher to see if he did it independently, and she told me yes. That was when the tears fell. Some changes have happened because of the detox that I can see. This is one of those things that I would have never known. I hadn't thought of checking to see if his handwriting or coloring improved. Shame on me.

Even though the detox is over, the work is not done. I still pray every day for wisdom on how to help Jordan's health. What things I should stop or what I should continue. Luke 11:28 says, "But He said, "More than that, blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it!" And God answeres me to tell me what I should scale back on and what to keep doing. Because when I make the changes, Jordan continues to get better. He will give us what we ask for when we follow the directions He gives us. If I continued to give him what I wanted him to have because I thought it was beneficial, I might not see what I am seeing now.