My light in darkness
As I struggle with the occurrences that are unfolding around me, I have come to understand that as disliked as Autism is, it's the only thing that is giving me a positive outlook on life.
Me and hubby decided to go to the movies to relax. We were on the phone while he was driving home and unexpectedly he just said he would call me back. Usually he will tell me who was calling and he would just see me when he got home. So, I was already a little concerned. When he called back he told me his best friend was found unresponsive and only had 72 hours to live. Although we had plans, our night had already been decided for us, we were going to the hospital. I couldn't believe this was about to be the 3rd person I knew that was going to leave. Of them all, he was the one I was closest too. I didn't see nor speak to him much, but when we all got together, it was so much fun. He was a very generous person, giving us the fish tank we now house in our living room. It was all too surreal. After leaving the hospital and getting food, we made it in around 12 or 1 am. The days events had me drained and I just wanted to go to bed. When I got in the bed and got settled and God spoke to me. I'm like really, right now? But it was too important to dismiss.
Just this week alone, three people that I have come into contact with at some point in my life, have passed on. The first was a 7-year-old girl who attended our Buddy Break program a couple of times. Very, very special little girl. I only remember meeting her once, but my interaction with her sticks out in my mind. She was loved by all but had a rare seizure disorder, Dravet Syndrome, that cut her life way too short. I found out about her passing November 27th. The second was the ex girlfriend of one of my husband's friends. She had cancer and had taken every avenue she could to battle it before passing on. I hung out with her on many occasions and she was a loud but fun loving individual. My husband telling me this sadden my very much because it was the same day I found out about G, what I will refer to my special need kid as. The following Friday 12/1 was G's, funeral. So many stories were shared about how much she touched peoples lives. Even people she had only known for 25 minutes. It was very hard to take in, but we all know God has his reasons for doing what he does and we have to trust Him. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 "In every situation [no matter what the circumstances] be thankful and continually give thanks to God; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus" (AMP). I spent 3 hours at the service and being there reminded me that I will have another funeral to attend soon. I needed to get away to gather my thoughts, or should I say let them go. I didn't want to think about anything else dealing with death for a long, long time.
Me and hubby decided to go to the movies to relax. We were on the phone while he was driving home and unexpectedly he just said he would call me back. Usually he will tell me who was calling and he would just see me when he got home. So, I was already a little concerned. When he called back he told me his best friend was found unresponsive and only had 72 hours to live. Although we had plans, our night had already been decided for us, we were going to the hospital. I couldn't believe this was about to be the 3rd person I knew that was going to leave. Of them all, he was the one I was closest too. I didn't see nor speak to him much, but when we all got together, it was so much fun. He was a very generous person, giving us the fish tank we now house in our living room. It was all too surreal. After leaving the hospital and getting food, we made it in around 12 or 1 am. The days events had me drained and I just wanted to go to bed. When I got in the bed and got settled and God spoke to me. I'm like really, right now? But it was too important to dismiss.
Out of all of the bad things that were going on around me, I have recognize that God is still God. An despite losing 3 lovely people, Jordan was striving. The Nemecheck protocol was allowing Jordan to be better responsive to questions you asked him. I already talked to Jordan as if he were one my other children, but now he was answering me. When he said to me "Hurt.", I asked him "What hurt?" and he responded "Elbow." When I asked him "How did you hurt your elbow?" he said, "Chair." These aren't typical responses of Jordan. He usually just repeats what you say. He also stepped on my foot and when I said "Ouch Jordan, you stepped on my foot.", he responded with "Sorry." without having to be prompted. When waiting for the oil to be changed in our car at the dealership, he said out of the blue, "Ready go please." He is doing remarkably despite having setbacks of regression here and there. It's amazing how God can use something so unpleasing, like Autism, to be a beacon of light in the midst of darkness. John 1:5 "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it" (ESV). Yes, I am saddened that 3 good people are no longer here and Autism doesn't take away from that. But it does give me hope moving forward. Life will go on and the path He has me on in life must continue to be traveled. And even though things around me right now aren't so bright, He's shown me my future will be.
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