How far will you go?

Last night Jordan had a small meltdown. I was in the process of making his beef soup when he wanted me to pour the lamb soup in one pot out and into the mason jars I store it in. I didn't see the point because I didn't need the pot and it's so much easier leaving soup in the pots and returning to the stove to reheat. I can always give him the desired amount instead of warming up too much or too less. That didn't stop him from wanting it though. He bumped into the refrigerator and threw his tablet to show his frustration. Since it was time for his shower I told him I would put the lamb in the jars and thought that was going to be good enough. After the shower I put the lamb in the jar, but he continued by asking me to rinse out the pot so I can put the beef in the pot the lamb was in. This was something he wasn't going to let go of. No matter how many times I explained to him that I didn't need to make it in that particular pot, it's what he wanted.

At first I wasn't going to comply with him. I felt it was unnecessary to do it. But it was me who felt that way. He felt another way. And unfortunately, I couldn't understand how it was affecting him. I just know he was upset. So I could have peace the rest of the night, I told him I would put it in the pot after it was done cooking. He was fine after that. And just for added security, I made sure he saw me make the exchange so he could be sure it was done. 

For about an hour I dealt with whining and disruptive behaviors because I didn't want to cook the beef in the pot he wanted because I didn't see the point. Romans 8:7 (ESV) "For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot." I tried explaining it to him the best way I could, but it wasn't going to calm him like actually doing it would have. And to be honest I put myself, and Jordan, through unnecessary emotions that lasted longer than just putting the dag on soup in the pot. 

It made me question, to what extent will I go to make sure Jordan is happy? My husband thinks I make things harder on myself by giving into things Jordan wants, like being with me while I'm in the kitchen or allowing him to close doors. I personally don't see the harm in allowing him to do these things. It doesn't effect anyone in anyway if he does them, I don't understand making a big deal about it when he does. It never dawned on me until last night just how hard it is for Jordan to comply with what we want him to do when he has something else in mind. But that is Autism. The mind doesn't work like ours and the sooner we comes to grips with it, the easier life will be. He may be able to suppress what he feels when it comes to dad, but how does that really affect him? It may make him trigger at a later date. Who knows? What I do know is I'm going to stop trying to stop him from being him. I hope I can get my husband to understand what I have just learned.