Been a minute
It's been awhile since I've last had something to say. Well...I've actually have had plenty to say, I just haven't been up to saying it. I have been in quite a stupor for over a week. Here's why.
Last time I posted something I let you know that I would be keeping Jordan home with me the remainder of that week to allow the supplements he had been missing to take effect so he wouldn't keep having issues at school and on the bus. However, when that Monday came about, the bus driver didn't show up. Neither did she show up on Tuesday or Wednesday. The aides in the classroom said they would speak to the coordinator, Ms. Hayes, to let the bus lot know on Monday and Tuesday, but was still a no show on Wednesday. So I stayed around the school Wednesday to get to the bottom of things. The lady in the office got a hold of the bus lot who called the driver and I spoke with her. Right off top she had an attitude. She was under the impression that I said until further notice, but if that was never my intention, I can't see that as ever coming out of my mouth. She responded that she goes by my house twice every morning because she has to pick up another kid, which she does on days she picks Jordan up. But if I would have seen her ride by my house the first time I would have been out there the second time. The first day I waited until 9:20 because I had to finish my work for class, but my husband was outside. The second day me and Jordan even waited outside for her because the school said they would reach out. The third day I waited at my window until about 9:30. Obviously if she doesn't have to come this way, she won't. So we determined she would pick him up on Thursday. When she pulled up I apologized for any confusion on my end, but she was dead set that she was right and didn't have much to say. The entire day I had anxiety about sending Jordan on that bus. It didn't help that he was about a half a hour late coming home because he didn't want to get on the bus to come home.
I prayed and prayed over that entire weekend, not telling anyone what happened and how I was feeling because I wanted to get the answer from God. As much as I want to say I came up with the right one, I don't believe I did. God obviously wants me to minister to this young lady. However, when you have a child with special needs, do you really put them in the care of someone you know has an issue with you? I just couldn't. I know God has a handle on things and nothing or no one could physically harm my child without His permission, but verbal and mental abuse is just as bad. I just couldn't be sure what was happening on that bus. I truly went against the word of God with this decision, but I asked for forgiveness and asked Him to allow me to forgive myself and when the time permits maybe I can get together with this bus driver to resolve the issues. Oh by the way on Monday I did let her know that she doesn't have to come back to pick him up. I'd rather be inconvenienced than have my child endure anything on my behalf. Like I said looking back it may have been the wrong decision because I didn't fully trust God to handle the situation, but I'm still a work in progress and honestly I tried as hard as I could to let God be in control the last day she took him to school. But I was too concerned with did he get there safely or at all. There are a lot of mentally ill people out there that work with children that shouldn't and you just never know what anyone is capable of when they have your child. I would be no good to anyone if I had to live in fear daily worrying if Jordan acted up again on her bus and the repercussions because of it. So I took matters in my own hands. Was I wrong? Yes. Do I regret it? Yes and no. I regret going against the word of God, but not doing what I needed to do to keep my son safe and me mentally sane.
Aside from that bull, Jordan is still having spasms. He was also acting up on the bus coming home by standing up in his seat. I felt I needed to go back to the fiber, which I did not want to do, but I looked into finding another supplement that could help with regulating blood sugar levels. Can you believe that one of them was one that I actually had in my house? One that Jordan used to take. Alpha Lipoic Acid. I thought back to when he stopped taking it. It was when we stopped chelation to work on the allergy issues within him. So that fact that it was removed could be the reason why he was acting out the way he was. I started giving it to him and the next morning he was already taking hours to eat his breakfast. That's one of the things I noticed when he was taking the fiber. So instead of giving him the fiber which could cause him to be dehydrated again, I now have the ALA. The next day he sat just fine on the bus. Now the fact that I found all this out after I removed Jordan from the other bus leads me to believe that maybe something was meant to be brought to light about this particular bus driver. The aide did tell me that Jordan wasn't the one giving her problems so I don't know. I will follow up with the school to see what my next steps may be as far as getting him on another route or like I said possibile mending the relationship being me and the driver. Not sure which way I want to go yet.
So now everything is back to normal aside from me taking him to school every morning. Jordan has stopped his loud verbal stimming and his attention is getting better at school. I am still slowly implementing all of his supplements back into his diet and filling him with multiple Gatorades daily to continue to work on the spasms. I honestly hope nothing else unfortunate happens for a while. I know God won't put more on me than I can bear, but that doesn't mean that I want it.
Last time I posted something I let you know that I would be keeping Jordan home with me the remainder of that week to allow the supplements he had been missing to take effect so he wouldn't keep having issues at school and on the bus. However, when that Monday came about, the bus driver didn't show up. Neither did she show up on Tuesday or Wednesday. The aides in the classroom said they would speak to the coordinator, Ms. Hayes, to let the bus lot know on Monday and Tuesday, but was still a no show on Wednesday. So I stayed around the school Wednesday to get to the bottom of things. The lady in the office got a hold of the bus lot who called the driver and I spoke with her. Right off top she had an attitude. She was under the impression that I said until further notice, but if that was never my intention, I can't see that as ever coming out of my mouth. She responded that she goes by my house twice every morning because she has to pick up another kid, which she does on days she picks Jordan up. But if I would have seen her ride by my house the first time I would have been out there the second time. The first day I waited until 9:20 because I had to finish my work for class, but my husband was outside. The second day me and Jordan even waited outside for her because the school said they would reach out. The third day I waited at my window until about 9:30. Obviously if she doesn't have to come this way, she won't. So we determined she would pick him up on Thursday. When she pulled up I apologized for any confusion on my end, but she was dead set that she was right and didn't have much to say. The entire day I had anxiety about sending Jordan on that bus. It didn't help that he was about a half a hour late coming home because he didn't want to get on the bus to come home.I prayed and prayed over that entire weekend, not telling anyone what happened and how I was feeling because I wanted to get the answer from God. As much as I want to say I came up with the right one, I don't believe I did. God obviously wants me to minister to this young lady. However, when you have a child with special needs, do you really put them in the care of someone you know has an issue with you? I just couldn't. I know God has a handle on things and nothing or no one could physically harm my child without His permission, but verbal and mental abuse is just as bad. I just couldn't be sure what was happening on that bus. I truly went against the word of God with this decision, but I asked for forgiveness and asked Him to allow me to forgive myself and when the time permits maybe I can get together with this bus driver to resolve the issues. Oh by the way on Monday I did let her know that she doesn't have to come back to pick him up. I'd rather be inconvenienced than have my child endure anything on my behalf. Like I said looking back it may have been the wrong decision because I didn't fully trust God to handle the situation, but I'm still a work in progress and honestly I tried as hard as I could to let God be in control the last day she took him to school. But I was too concerned with did he get there safely or at all. There are a lot of mentally ill people out there that work with children that shouldn't and you just never know what anyone is capable of when they have your child. I would be no good to anyone if I had to live in fear daily worrying if Jordan acted up again on her bus and the repercussions because of it. So I took matters in my own hands. Was I wrong? Yes. Do I regret it? Yes and no. I regret going against the word of God, but not doing what I needed to do to keep my son safe and me mentally sane.
Aside from that bull, Jordan is still having spasms. He was also acting up on the bus coming home by standing up in his seat. I felt I needed to go back to the fiber, which I did not want to do, but I looked into finding another supplement that could help with regulating blood sugar levels. Can you believe that one of them was one that I actually had in my house? One that Jordan used to take. Alpha Lipoic Acid. I thought back to when he stopped taking it. It was when we stopped chelation to work on the allergy issues within him. So that fact that it was removed could be the reason why he was acting out the way he was. I started giving it to him and the next morning he was already taking hours to eat his breakfast. That's one of the things I noticed when he was taking the fiber. So instead of giving him the fiber which could cause him to be dehydrated again, I now have the ALA. The next day he sat just fine on the bus. Now the fact that I found all this out after I removed Jordan from the other bus leads me to believe that maybe something was meant to be brought to light about this particular bus driver. The aide did tell me that Jordan wasn't the one giving her problems so I don't know. I will follow up with the school to see what my next steps may be as far as getting him on another route or like I said possibile mending the relationship being me and the driver. Not sure which way I want to go yet.So now everything is back to normal aside from me taking him to school every morning. Jordan has stopped his loud verbal stimming and his attention is getting better at school. I am still slowly implementing all of his supplements back into his diet and filling him with multiple Gatorades daily to continue to work on the spasms. I honestly hope nothing else unfortunate happens for a while. I know God won't put more on me than I can bear, but that doesn't mean that I want it.
"No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common
to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow
you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the
temptation will also make the way of escape, that you
may be able to bear it."
1 Corinthians 10:13
