A different side of things

Usually, when I post, it's about my ups and downs, overs and under, when facing Jordan and his diet, supplements, doctor's appointments, and whatever I have to deal with regarding this journey. But today, I want to give a different account.

On Tuesday, Jordan got the bio-electric scan I had wanted him to have for a couple of years. The doctor said she would send the follow-up directions in a few days, which she did. However, I have yet to receive them. I have emails from her asking me to send test emails to see if they would get through. I have the emails we sent back and forth to each other before the visit, but the email with the follow-up directions would not come through. I believed it was a problem with Gmail, but other emails between us and other emails, in general, came through. So why not these?

I didn't worry about it too much because she eventually took a screenshot of the directions, typed it in a text, and sent it to me. When I received and looked over the messages, I understood why the emails would not go through.

I became overwhelmed when I considered everything the doctor told me in the office and read over what to do with Jordan until our next visit. Anxiety hit me so bad that I started crying, worried about how I was going to get this all done. The thing is, it's similar to all else I have tried with Jordan. I was focused on one thing that would make this whole thing impossible- ensuring that Jordan only eats 30 minutes before or after drinking. Being out of the house for over eight hours worried me about how I would manage this new way of eating for Jordan so he could eat more times a day but have smaller portions and still drink the liquids he needed while not diluting the gastric juices so he can better digest his food. The more I thought about it, the more I cried.

Later on that night, I started dinner. While cooking, I thought about the fact that I could not get the emails and why the thought of this new regimen was so paralyzing to me. Then it dawned on me. The enemy didn't want me to do this. He knew that I was on the path to something when it came to the new information I had to help Jordan. First, he didn't want me to get it, and then he wanted me to think I couldn't do it. Realizing this changed my thought process. It was then that I knew I could do it, and something big would come from it. Otherwise, he wouldn't have tried to keep me from having and doing this. This led me to wonder if everything else I did would not work because there were no issues regarding the hundreds of other plans I had for him. But that's another story for another post.

So, after I gathered myself and understood this was an attack and allowed it to pass, I became physically sick. I could barely stand straight up to finish dinner. My stomach was bothering me so bad. I had to sit while cooking, and it was so painful it brought me to tears. Because it came out of nowhere, I couldn't help but see that this was another attack. Because I knew that I could do what the doctor suggested, when I finally did receive them, he thought of getting at me another way. But the physical was another easy fix. All I had to do was chew a piece of garlic, and I was back to normal.

I share this with you because a few months ago, I wouldn't have looked at this as an attack. I would have looked at it as maybe I wasn't supposed to do this, and God was trying to keep me from making a huge mistake. Because it was my thought initially. But I had to consider why. It wasn't like I was to give him a multitude of supplements or things that were unreasonable. I have to simply give him foods and herbs that help with the problems within him. All natural. So why would this be something that I shouldn't do? It isn't! The more we work to build our relationship with God, the more we get to know Him. We learn His voice from the devil's voice. John 10:27-28, "27 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. 28 I give them eternal life, and they will never perish. No one can snatch them away from me." Knowing the difference between the two helps us know what to do moving forward. My challenge to you today is to spend quiet time with God today and every day to know Him. It can make all the difference in the thoughts you have and the decisions you make.