Future and Faith

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, 

the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1

Being a part of a wonderful church has been such a blessing in my journey with Jordan and helping him overcome some of the hurdles he has when it comes to autism. On Saturday my ministry group, who meets every 3rd Saturday of the month, held a workshop that had much information about transitioning your special needs child into the adult world. I must admit it was a huge eye opener and had me very worried about my sons future and what will happen to him once I become of age. God forbid I get sick or my health starts to decline and fail and I leave Jordan with no way to handle himself or no kind of resources to help him get through the rest of his life. Even though I know they would not mind because they love their brother, I would hate to leave that responsibility to his older sisters. I want to have many things in place that would allow him to have a place to live, a job and someone to take care of him as I would. But then I get confused.

You see I have the faith that Jordan will be as normal as those of us without special needs. I mean he may not be completely as we are, but really are we all "normal" anyway. I dislike that term because what defines normal. I guess that's why in most cases typically developing is used, so that's what I'll say. I believe Jordan will be like his typically developing peers with maybe some small issues. So if I have the faith that he will be just that, why should I prepare for anything else? Just in case? Honestly I would have thought he would have been further off than he is right now, but that's neither here nor there. We are where we are and I know I have a ways to go. It took a while to try and pinpoint where lead was coming from since I felt he was still ingesting some because of how his levels see-sawed. And I still may not have it figured out yet, but I do know that his levels are continuously going down, but are still elevated, so there's still hope that he will get better than he is now. Hebrews 11:6 says "But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him." Since I have been actively seeking God, his levels are showing that we are being rewarded.


I don't know what the future holds, but what I do know is that whether I have resources in place for Jordan when he becomes of age or not I know my relationship with God won't allow anything that isn't supposed to be. He didn't create this special child to be a part of my life, give me the resources to allow me to give him the best life possible and restore his health, to have things go awry in the long run. What God tells me to do I will do. When He gives me that notion that I've done all I could, but this is what will be, I will do all I can to make sure my son will be well taken care of. Because "thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead," James 2:17. Faith won't be all that will help us get through this, I must do the work. Nothing is going to just fall on my lap. No one is going to do it for me. I must get things in order so his future will be right whether it be similar to mine or not. So I have my faith, I'm doing the work, I'm seeking God, now I must wait and let God do what's right in His eyes and wait for my reward, whatever it may be. In Jesus name, Amen!