Today I thought about asking my husband a difficult question. A question that I have thought about maybe once prior to it popping into my head again today. As it stands we shell out a lot of money when it comes to Jordan and treatment. Doctors visits and supplements are not covered under any kind of insurance. Things we would like to do to fix up the home have been put aside for about 5 years. Not all due to taking care of him. But when I add up the money we spend at the end of the year, we could be almost finished with the main floor of the house or at least have the backyard looking somewhat decent. So the question I want to ask is, at some point do we stop treatment?
I have so much invested in it that I want to say I won't give up until his systems are working like they should and he is or isn't typical. But part of me wants to stop giving him numerous medicines daily. End spending cash on supplements and special diet foods so I can set up a nice yard for him to play in, and to finish the basement so it can be livable. I want to redo the siding on the house and get these old bathrooms redone so it can feel like my home. I would love to have a new fence and a new bay window. But these things are hard to get done when you have 5 little mouths to feed and one is picky AND on a gluten free diet. Factor in college, clothes, bills and pleasures, because we have to make sure it's a must for us, we have little money to make our house our home. We managed to get most of the windows replaced a little over a year ago and a new door last weekend. We have remodeled the bathroom on the main floor on our own, well most of it anyway. And replaced the linoleum floor in the dining room too. I love projects like that. Runs in the family. I plan to pave the walkway in the next coming weeks. But these things I mention are small compared to what needs to be done.
One thing I do know. If I wasn't supposed to be doing this, it wouldn't be working. The fiber I added to his diet wouldn't be calming him down and improving his behaviors at school. The gluten free diet wouldn't allow him to sleep through the night, and the depression I felt when I was missing a supplement wouldn't have come to be. Everything that Jordan is taking is helping him out. Whether it be small or significant, it is good and will be good for the long run. He will be the healthiest in the family and will probably outlive all of us. With that being said, I still haven't answered my question. Will I stop in 2 years when the things that I have been doing haven't shown any improvement from where he is now? I don't know. I can't answer that.
Ecclesiastes 3:11 says "He has made everything beautiful in its own time. Also He as put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end." God will reveal that to me when that time comes. Until then projects will go undone until we have the means. Vacations may have to be forfeited, but as long as I am doing it because it's what's best for my child I have no problems with it. I still have the most important thing. I have a home.
